Cookies From the Nether World
by Nox3
Summary: Sirius is just plain annoying, cookies from the nether world attack, James and Remus can't get to sleep b/c of a very hyper Sirius, and Peter won't wake up. You like what you see? Then please R/R!


(AN/ Sorry this one has no excuse. Just sugar, three in the morning, and more sugar. Bad combination. Read and Review please!) Chapter One: The Night of The Living Cookie Sirius Black, James Potter, and Remus Lupin walked down the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry toward the Great Hall for dinner. They had just been let out of a rather boring Transfiguration class and Sirius had taken up a new hobby. "Sirius," Remus seethed. "If you poke me one more time I'll," he was cut off when Sirius jabbed him in the forehead. James grabbed Remus' robes to keep him from killing Sirius. "Padfoot, you remember the talk we had about being a Sirius and crossing the line?" James asked while Sirius stood just out of Remus' reach grinning. "Huh?" Sirius looked back over at James still grinning. "Last night?" "No. Should I?" "Idiotic freak." James muttered, with the help of the author giving Remus a were- wolf treat, and put an arm around Sirius' shoulder. He took out his wand and drew a line in midair. "Don't I get a cookie?" Pleaded Sirius staring up at the ceiling with puppy dog eyes. "No. You get a cookie later. Remember the script?" The author's disembodied voice explained. "Remember what?" "Idiotic freak." The voice mumbled. "Why does everyone say that about me?" "Because you are." James, Remus, and the author said. "Padfoot when you cross this line," James paused and drew a stick figure Sirius on one side of the line; "terrible things happen." James made the figure cross the line where it was attacked by God knows what and killed. "Oh yeah that talk." Sirius remembered touching the line and receiving a severe burn from it. He glared at the line for several minuets before noticing James and Remus had already gone ahead into the Great Hall. "You left me!" He pouted sitting down next to James. "Oh did we? Must have slipped my mind." Remus smirked taking the last bite of his cookie. "My that was a very tasty cookie." Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus and stabbed a potato with his fork. "What cookie? Did I miss something?" Questioned Peter looking from James, to Sirius, to Remus and then back to James. "Nah, just Siri being an idiot." James said receiving a death glare from Sirius. "Don't worry Padfoot we still love you." James patted Sirius on the head. "I feel special." Sirius said sarcastically.  
After dinner the Marauders went up to Gryffindor Tower. They chatted and planned more pranks in the common room for a while then headed up to the fifth year boy's dormitory. They changed into their pajamas and climbed sleepily into their beds. "Night." James yawned before rolling over and going to sleep. ******************************Two Hours Later****************************  
James was in the middle of a pleasant dream when a strange bouncing sensation woke him up. He groggily opened one eye to see a very hyper Sirius jumping on the end of his bed. "Sirius may I kindly ask what you are doing?" He asked trying to remain calm. "I ::jump:: just ::jump:: got my ::jump:: COOKIE!!!" Sirius answered between jumps. "What did you give him pure sugar?!" James demanded of the ceiling. "Nope, a sugar cookie." The author's voice replied. "Why?!" "It makes the story more interesting." "Oh thanks a lot." "Don't make me erase you! Cause I can." The voice threatened. "No, no I like living." James said before grumbling something and turning back to his hyper friend. "Sirius?" "::jump:: Yup? ::jump::" Sirius said. "Why don't you go play with Peter?" "Tried. ::jump:: He ::jump:: doesn't ::jump:: wake up ::jump:: for anything. ::jump::" Sirius said. "Then go play with Moony. I'm sure he really wants to be woken up in the middle of the night by you." James smiled. Sirius appeared to be thinking before jumping of James' bed and onto Remus'. He was very satisfied to hear Remus yelp in surprise before blowing up at Sirius. "James?" Remus groaned, before attempting to bury his head underneath a pillow. "Make it stop!" "Sirius!" James snapped getting Sirius' attention. "Sit." Sirius obediently sat down on the end of Remus' bed. "Lie down." Sirius tried lying down but only succeeded in falling of the bed sideways pulling all poor Remus' blankets with him. "Good boy, now stay." "Oh great now I get to freeze to death. Thank you very much James." Remus said. "Anytime Moony anytime." "James?" Came Sirius' voice from next to the bed. "What?" "Can I breathe?" "No, go to sleep." ***************************Several Minuets Later*************************** "James? I don't think he's breathing." Remus commented looking down at Sirius who was turning a blue-ish color. "He's not that stupid. He'd breath if he had to." James said sitting up and glancing at Sirius then doing a double take when he saw Sirius really was not breathing. "For God sake's man breathe already!" Sirius took a breath as all the color returned to his face. "You idiotic freak!" Remus said throwing his pillow at Sirius. "Tell me were you trying to die?" Asked James also throwing his pillow at Sirius. "No I was being a good dog." Sirius replied then grinned that evil grin that makes most people groan. Something bad was about to happen. "I've got the pillows!"  
The pillow fight that ensued should have been put in the record books. Sirius attacked James and Remus with his two pillows while they had nothing to defend themselves with. After several thwacks with the pillows James and Remus finally to grab Sirius, throw him in a blanket, and tie it tightly at the top. Sirius got to his feet and ran around as blind as a bat bumping into falls, chairs, trunks, and beds. When he ran into the wall for the fifth time he fell over backwards, unable to get up. "Save Sirius! Save me! I don't want to die from blanket-phobia!" Sirius' muffled voice pleaded from inside the heap of blankets. "You're not going to die Sirius." Remus informed pulling the blanket off of his friend's head. "I see the light!" Sirius randomly yelled. He stood up and ran around the room screaming about freedom of the chipmunks and die cats die. "Can we kill him?" James asked to the author. "Nah, sorry I like him. He has to live. But you could stun him that might work?" The author's voice suggested. "Sirius has become immune to that I'm afraid." Remus said watching Sirius jump from bed to bed and occasionally fall to the floor. "Lock him in a closet then." "Good idea." James and Remus said in unison. They lured Sirius into the closet and slammed the door behind him. "Finally some piece and quiet." Remus yawned pulling the blankets back onto his bed. "Good night Moony." "Night Prongs."  
Suddenly a yell of joy broke the silence and Sirius announced, "COOKIES! I FOUND YOU AT LAST!" "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Moaned James and Remus. (A.N./ Will James and Remus ever get to sleep? Will Peter ever wake up? Will Sirius ever shut up? Tune in next week to find out! ::cheesy little theme song plays in background::) 


End file.
